I can't sleep and feel a little bit depressed. I regret my life. I keep looking up to people. I feel my life is such a failure. I feel lonely and hopeless. I know it's not too late yet to move on but still i feel like carrying huge weight behind that make me hard to move forward. I wanna cut off all communication with people so they won't ask what have i been up to lately. Because i can't answer that.
I wanna talk about this to somebody. To my love ones. But knowing people have their own struggle, I try harder to keep this to myself. I know the answer. I know what they're gonna say. And i don't wanna bother them no more. I don't feel like meeting them anytime sooner. I want to be supportive but i feel my absence is way to lease their weight over me. I keep saying that i need to help my own self and stop bother them. I've been trying to have less expectation on people for being able to simply motivate me so i can help myself. So i'm alone and i should really help my self now. I know i should stop complaining. And avoiding people is my way to let people think that i'm okay. Wish they won't know what i'm going through while i am passing this. This is what feel tonight. I can't deny that i am suffering this kind of feeling for these past 5 years.
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