11.08 pm I'm grateful for a medium size cup of coffee i had this afternoon. my favorite thing that could keep me full all day. Today is such a record that i don't eat besides a donut i had this evening when i walk through kitchen to take my blanket hanging in my balcony. I'm okay, don't worry. It doesn't mean i don't have food on my fridges. I have eggs. Eggs to boil, fry, omlete, orak-arik anything you can make out of eggs. hehe How is quarantine day ? hmm fine.. just fine, everything is fine. i have all gadgets for my work, internet, books, cats, coffee only if i have unlimited resource of food and mom beside me everything's gonna be perfect. This corona virus and quarantine things leave me with dejavu. This really reminds me of failed coup 4 years ago. I can't believe there is nothing much different of my life after 4 years. Well, i can't deny i pretty much had enough money in 2018 and 2019 as i was working part time but ever since last autumn, everything is changed. I was fired and couldn't find any other proper job. I couldn't even finish my design projects that i promised to my friend. Can you see how much f*cked up my lıfe is ? I'm questioning you to still love me because i don't. Okay before you hear more f*cked up things about my life. i'll just stop here. I'll be pretending as someone else who see my life now, criticize what'd better for me to do so maybe from that i know what i should do. okay bye bye. Mind me for me trashing on my own blog. i warn you that you may not like to read this but at least you know something that i am not always that happy go lucky lıke in my instagram. love, Wita Koto. pictures were taken in my neighbourhood last february.
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i'm currently reading this. it's been half of the book but i still give fuck to everything. i'm super emotional this day. i don't know is it because i'm overwhelmed with this enormous news about covid-19 or i'm basically just a complicated person. I get emotional to Indonesia health ministry due to how lame they handle this pandemic, I get irritated when i saw a video of woman wearing PPE to do her groceries, i even feel insinuated when someone keep saying they need an oven to bake when in fact i may the only student who have oven among other student houses hahaha i know i'm crazy!
Oh god ! I cannot chill and i don't know how to chill.... Often times i almost reach the peak of the mountain of frustration but then i try not to give fuck. I realize my frustration won't lead me anywhere and better focus on things i can do. Yes! to care less is self caring now. Just don't give fuck to everything. And sure it is a good idea to limit myself screening social media. Keeping my works online doesn't mean i have to screen all the IG Stories all day, right ? I wish this is the right decision i took this year. In between many responsibilities i have about my education and earning money, i decided to volunteer as Instagram Content Creator for PPI Ankara (Accosiation of Indonesian Student in Ankara) as my legacy. I'm not an expert in using Photoshop yet but ever since i got this responsibility, i make myself learn things in Photoshop and it's not bad for an amateur hehe. so i can't wait for the days to come because i know that from now on i'll earn many things from this volunteering.
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